This Was What It Felt Like
by formerlyknownasone
Summary: I was always there for you, whether you knew it or not. I was merely your captain,your friend... and nothing more. R&R. KBOW oneshot


Hey All Readers! Not one of the more popular pairings, But definitely one of my favourite! If you don't fancy KBOW's, perhaps you can change the names to your favs. This is a really sweet bitter love story in Oliver's POV. Enjoy!

I solemnly swear the character are not mine. Enough Said.

This Was What It Felt Like For Your Heart to be Broken 

To you, I was merely your playmate, your neighbour, and also your Hogwarts classmate. I have been your confidante for almost twelve years... the best twelve years of my life. I was there when you had her first fever. I was there when your parents left you. I was there whenever you cried and or just needed a shoulder to lean on. I was the one who held your hand in your grandmother's funeral, as silent tears streamed down your lovely face. I was always there for you, whether you knew it or not. I was merely your captain,your friend... and nothing more.

But who else knew you that much? Who else can fathom your deepest fear? Who else can feel your pain? Only me. It was only me. But I never dared tell you.

Not yet anyway. Not tonight.

Do you remember, I often wonder, the times we spent playing Quidditch? Would you remember, who was beside you when got hit my the Bludger? No... The real question is, would you still remember those nights we spent, looking at the stars and doing nothing? Would you chose to remember me?

Because I will.

You looked ravishing tonight at the Hogwarts pre-graduation dance, wearing those shimmering silver robes. But then again, you always were. Lovely, I mean. Your beautiful green eyes had an extra gleam to it, and the smile was almost too wide.

Almost immediately I realised something was going on. I loved, waited, and stood by you for so many years-- I understood you too well for you to hide anything from me. Yes, something was definitely up. I felt myself stiffen under my best robes.

My gaze travelled down to your hand, the very same hand that I clung on to when you broke your arm at six. It was entwined with a darker, more masculine hand. It belonged to Fred, the man whom I called best friend. I remember the night he nervously broke the dreaded news to me, that you both were an item.

I still cringe at that painful memory.

I felt stabbed. By him, and by you. I always thought having you was in the bag, until he came along. He just whisked you away and stole you from me. Just like that. You were gone.

" I gave you a chance to tell Katie, but you never did. I was tired of waiting. I'm sorry, but I like her too..." Fred's words kept drifting back to me.

From then on, our relationship all changed. Me and you. You and Fred. Fred and me. You grew distant and cold, and never talked to me anymore.

You forgot it was him who hit that Bludger years ago. You forgot it was me beside you.

I thought it was immaterial, you know, the way you ignore me. I have been through these before a few times, whenever you met someone new. But when the feelings start to fade, you always come running back to me, fleeing to my comfort and seeking reassurance that you will be fine... And I thought this was the same.

But I was wrong.

"We are getting married. Soon, perhaps after we graduate,"

These words came spewing out of your mouth just now. I looked up, and saw you gazing lovingly at Fred. You stared at him with a winsome smile plastered on your beautiful face. You had an indescribable expression that seemed to hold happiness and joy to great for words. But something else bothered me.

Your deep green eyes, there was something so familiar about it I could not seem to place. It was full of tenderness, of trust, of love, of hope... And I suddenly jolted in realisation.

It was the way I looked at you.

I couldn't hold back and pretend everything is okay anymore. Not bothering about how you would take my reaction, I took off. I didn't think you would care anyway. I ran all the way back home, not stopping once to catch breath. I needed the cold bitter wind to cut my face, and I hope it would clear my head. I needed the loud throbbing in me to stop. I needed the sharp intense pain in me to go away. I eeded you to just fade away, I needed...

I thrust myself into my mother's arms as she opened the door. She engulfed me into a warm hug, and I just let all my emotions get to me. I broke into uncontrollable sobs, and let the tears that I held back for three months now out. The fierce struggle I battled with my emotions finally came to an end. My tears won.

This was how it felt like for your heart to be broken.

My mother ranted on about how my feelings would just fade, and that you were not worth it, and other advices along that thread. I appreciated her console, and it occurred to me that she was mostly right. One day, I would probably fall for someone else and laugh over this as a silly infatuation. Perhaps, I would forget you and pick up the pieces you left me in.

Perhaps.

But right now, I was still smarting from the pain and loss of you. All the energy in the world would not change that.

You are my friend, my neighbour, and my Hogwarts classmate. And now, you are my best-friend's future wife. You would never know the feelings I harboured for you, as I gallantly fought all your battles and stood by your side. And you will never know. It is time to pass this baton to Fred, and entrust you to him. I know it is time to let go, but I am not ready to. Not just yet.

Please please Please Review! Thanks, I really want comments!


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